Inevitable
by fadingvoice
Summary: “Think what you want, Casey, but we’re meant to be together!” Dasey?
1. Inevitable

Do you remember when we were just kids  
And cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss?

"So, Casey, do you think you're ready to go?" Casey looked at her little sister and smiled.

"Somewhat," she replied, throwing her arms around her sibling. "Lizzie, I'm gonna miss you so badly." Lizzie nodded in agreement.

"Will you promise me something?" Lizzie asked quite seriously.

"Yeah," Casey replied, awaiting the promise.

"Don't forget about me," she pleaded.

"Lizzie, I couldn't forget about you," Casey replied, giving her sister a playful smile. "Even if I wanted to."

"I know," Lizzie continued. "It's just that everything changed once we moved in with George." Casey nodded.

"But don't forget that there were better times," Casey reminded her. "Like when it was just us girls and we'd stay up on a Friday night watching Mom's old movies." Lizzie laughed at the memory.

"She would always say "It's such a classic"," Lizzie added. "Why can't everything be the way it was?"

"Because there's more important things in life than our happiness," Casey concluded. "Don't worry, we'll see each other soon. Plus, I'm not leaving till tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, but we've got school today."

Schoolyard conversations taken to heart  
And laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not.

"I can't believe you're actually leaving," Emily said, taking in the shock. "We only have today to spend together before you leave."

"It's for the best," Casey assured her. Emily shook her head.

"I won't have my best friend anymore. It's _not_ for the best."

"Em, we'll see each other. I'll come visit." Casey insisted.

"It won't be the same," Emily's eyes filled with tears. "Who else will I tell of my undying crush on Derek?" Casey burst out laughing.

"Now _that_ is one big shoe to fill," Casey replied, continuing to laugh. Emily soon joined into this fest of falseness. Casey knew she would probably never see her again.

I wanna break every clock  
The hands of time could never move again  
We could stay in this moment  
For the rest of our lives.

Casey took in those who surrounded her at the table that night. George, her mother, Lizzie, Marti, Edwin, even Derek. She knew she wouldn't see them again. At least, not very soon. She wanted things to be like this forever. Where things hadn't gotten so bad as to force her to leave.

Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now?

Wishing she'd reconsidered what she was doing earlier, she excused herself from the table. The last dinner she'd ever have with her family. She rushed to her room, taking out the letters she'd written for each of them. After rereading them, she took one letter out of the pile, and threw it in the garbage.

"Whose letter was that, Casey?"

I wanna be your last, first kiss  
That you'll ever have  
I wanna be your last, first kiss.

"Derek," Casey replied in surprise. "Um…letters? What letters?" She took the pile of papers, shoving them into a drawer.

"Come on Case, I'm not an idiot," Derek continued.

"It was your's." she admitted.

"Why?" he questioned.

"Because I didn't like what I said to you in it," she answered.

"And what do you think of me now?" he inquired, getting closer to her. She stood up in surprise.

"You're a better guy then I thought you were. I was just too stubborn to see it." He was now face to face with her. She took a few steps back, coming up against the wall.

"Now that's my Casey." Before she could react, Derek was upon her, eyes drawing nearer. She couldn't take her eyes off of them. The deep brown coming closer. His arms wrapped around her waist. She wasn't sure what was happening, she was in a panic, unable to move. Then it hit her. A surge throughout her entire body, making her feel alive. A kiss. The feeling unlike any she'd ever known, she thought that she could give in. However, she pushed him away from her.

Amazing how life turns out the way that it does  
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love  


"What are you doing?" she asked angrily.

"Casey, I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't mean to what, Derek? To put me in a position that could destroy our entire family? To make me think I might have feelings for you just before I leave? What did you want from me? To reconsider leaving? Well, this sure as heck made it certain that I'm leaving." Derek didn't need to leave the room, Casey stormed out without another word. She locked herself in the bathroom, trying to contain the floods that threatened to spill out. She smacked her face in shame.

"How could you, Casey?" she questioned herself, spiteful of her own wants. "How could you enjoy that? He's not a part of your life anymore. None of them are."

I wanna break every clock  
The hands of time could never move again  
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)  
For the rest of our lives

"Things would've been so much simpler if you just hadn't made that mistake, Casey." She looked into the mirror and saw someone she'd never known. She hadn't looked into the mirror since the day he died.

"Dang it, Casey!" she shouted at her reflection. "You're supposed to be over this! You're supposed to be better! It wasn't your fault!" Her cynical side, however, wouldn't allow these thoughts. "Who are you kidding? It was your fault. And let's face it, kid, you'll never be over this."

I wanna be your last, first kiss  
That you'll ever have  
I wanna be your last, first kiss.  


Coming out of the bathroom, Derek stopped Casey.

"We need to talk," he said, a commanding tone in his voice. Before Casey could object, Derek pulled Casey into his room and locked the door. "I'm sorry, what I did was really out of line." She nodded. "But, Casey, you need to know that I really do care about you."

"How could you do that to me?" she asked, a small tear rolling down her cheek. Derek reached to wipe it away, but Casey refused his hand.

"Case, I just…you were leaving and I wanted you to know how I feel," he insisted.

"I'm tired of feelings. All they do is cause people pain," she replied.

"Don't say that!" Derek shouted. "Just because Max committed suicide when the two of you broke up doesn't mean that all love does is cause pain!" Casey stood in shock. No one had dared to even whisper his name in her presence since the funeral.

Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now?  
Is it over how hey, hey, it's not over now?

She walked to the door, unlocked it, and ran out. All Derek could hear was the slamming of her door. He cringed at the sound.

"I can't believe I did that." he said to himself. "Why couldn't I just let her go?" Wishing he could go back in time, he lay in his bed thinking of what he'd do when she actually did leave.   


I wanna be your last, first kiss  
That you'll ever have  
I wanna be your last, first love  
Till you're lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide  
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time.

"You ready, Casey?" her father asked as he threw the last bag into the truck.

"Yeah," she replied. "Just one more minute." She walked to the front door where everyone was waiting for her, then embraced her mother and sister. "Keep rule over the house, ok?" Her mother and sister laughed sadly, nodding their heads in agreement. "George, Edwin, Marty," she hugged each as she said their name. "It was great living with you guys. Be nice to my mom and sister." They each agreed.

"I'll miss you, Casey," Marti was tugging at her jacket. "Will you come visit soon?"

"Yeah, Marti," Casey assured her. "I'll come visit soon."

"Where's Derek?" George questioned. Almost as if on queue, Derek ran out of the house and straight up to Casey.

"Casey, don't go." he pleaded.

"I have to, Derek." she replied bitterly.

"No," he commanded. "Stay here. With me."

"I can't." Casey began the long walk down the driveway, trying to block out the words that pierced her head.

"Think what you want, Casey, but we're meant to be together!" Derek shouted. Casey stopped in her place for a moment, then continued walking. "I know you think Max is your fault, and I know you miss him, but you have to move on!" She quickened her pace. "Casey," he begged. "Please." She reached the running car and turned back to see her loving family. Giving a dull way, she shouted goodbye to everyone, then got in and shut the door. Her father pulled off the curb and began driving down the street.

"Case, what's that?" her dad asked, motioning to something behind the car. She looked out her side window to see Derek running after them. "Want me to stop?"

"No," she replied. "Keep driving."

Song- Inevitable

Artist- Anberlin

Album- Cities

By the way, (this just came to my attention), if you don't like my story--please tell me why). Thank you.


	2. A Day Late

"Welcome to your new home, Casey." her dad said triumphantly, letting her take in the small apartment. She'd only been in New York for twenty minutes, but already she knew that life would be completely different for her here. "Your room is down the hall, second door on the left. She nodded, making her way towards it.

"Oh." was all she could manage to say when she opened the door to find a pure white room. Everything was white. From the bed sheets to the curtains.

"Well, Casey, welcome to the asylum. How long will you be staying?" she thought to herself, cynical as ever. However, she did remember to note that she was far away from her past. From Max. From Derek.

"Everything alright, kiddo?" her father asked, popping his head into the door.

"Yeah," Casey replied, trying to sound as sincere as possible. "It's really nice."

"Well, I hate to be a bad host, but I've gotta head down the office. You wanna come?" The office sounded about as good as an asylum to Casey.

"Nah, I'm really tired after that flight. I think I'll just stay here. Is that ok?" Her dad's face seemed unfazed, already moving on to his next task of getting ready.

"Well, there's some food in the fridge if you get hungry and…Hey. Why don't you go down to the school and pick up your books? It's only a block or two away."

"Um…Okay. Sounds good." In actuality, the last thing Casey wanted to do was walk around a strange city in search of school where she'd be the new kid once again.

"Alright, see you later sweetie!" Mr. McDonald called as he left the apartment. And Casey was alone again, in the silence.

"Well, might as well check my email," Casey said aloud, knowing full well that only she could hear. Online she found two emails waiting for her. One she welcomed with open arms, the other…not so much.

**Casey!**

**What's up, girl? I miss you already!!! Feels like we haven't talked in ages!!! Who am I gonna go to when I have a problem now? School pretty much sucks as usual. Nothing new there. Oh! Sheldon and I broke up! I know that should've been the first thing I said in this email, but I'm at peace with it. As though it never happened. And I sort of thought that you wouldn't wanna hear about relationships. I guess that everyone's alright. Trevor and I have been talking. He says hi and he misses you, too. Anyway, I miss you SOOOO much and I can't wait to hear from you!!!!!**

**Love Ya!**

**Emily**

Casey let out a sigh, a slight smile upon her face. At least she knew that she could count on Emily to keep contact, even if her little sister didn't. Casey put her fingers upon the keys, ready to let the words fly into an email back.

**Emily!!!!!**

**It's SOOO good to hear from you so soon! I seriously thought that I wouldn't hear from you until a week from now. I'm glad to hear that everything's alright. So you and Sheldon are done? Kaput? Again? Geez. At least this time you're alright with it, you know? Don't worry about talking about relationships, I'm alright. It's a part of life. I'll have to deal with it**

Every as Casey was typing that sentence, she knew that she didn't believe it.

**Yay Trevor!!! Tell him that I miss him, too! Oh my gosh, the flight here took ****forever****. New York's a pretty cool city, it's not home, but I'll work with it. Ah! I've gotta go grab my books for school! Hope to hear from you soon!**

**-Casey**

Casey clicked the "send" button, then stared at the other unopened email for a moment. It was beckoning her, begging her to open it and read its contents. But Casey resisted, closing the webpage, picking up her purse, and finding her way out into the New York streets, looking for her new school.


	3. Stranded

"Casey…McDonald?" the secretary questioned as she looked through my files.

"Yeah." Casey tapped her fingers upon the wooden desk impatiently. "I might not be in there because I just transferred in a week or two ago." The woman ignored Casey's comment, continuing to search through the pile of files.

"Nope, you're right here. You're just one of the 2,000." Casey nodded, wondering if that was really the number of students attending this new school. Everyone walked around in uniforms. "Your books should be with your first period teacher in room 215." Obviously, this woman didn't know Casey McDonald very well. Despite being fairly intelligent, Casey was directionally challenged.

"And where exactly would that be?" Casey asked, feeling stupider by the minute. The woman looked up from the piles of paper on her desk.

"Two corridors down. Third door on your right." Casey knew that she shouldn't try this woman's patience, but she had no choice.

"And where do we get the uniforms?" The secretary let out a long sigh.

"Your gym teacher will have it." Casey took a step back, deciding that she'd try her luck finding the gym. When she stepped out into the hallway, she felt an eerie silence. The type of silence where there's not a kid to be found in a school hallway. As she tried to follow the woman's directions, she found herself turning down the third corridor instead of the second.

"215. 215. 215." she muttered to herself, looking for the door. When she reached the third door on her right, she stood before it, dumbfounded. "Okay, not 215." Without warning, the door opened suddenly, forcing Casey back.

"Do you have a problem?" the person coming out of the classroom asked sarcastically. As Casey glanced this person over, she found a girl about her age.

"Um…yeah. I'm sort of lost."

"Obviously." The girl walked right past Casey, then turned around. "Look, I'll show you around, alright?" Casey nodded. "I'm Danni."

"Casey."

"Where ya goin', Casey?" Danni asked.

"215. Then the gym."

"Oh! You have Ms. Type! You'll like her, she's really easy." Casey followed Danni without comment. "So…where ya from?"

"Canada." Danni glanced at her for a moment.

"Why'd you move here. Your dad trying to become an actor?"

"Not exactly." As they turned in to the second corridor, Casey realized her mistake.

"So why did you move?"

"My mom and dad are divorced, and it's my dad's turn to have me."

"Only child?"

"No, it's just one of those things…" They'd reached 215 and Danni was opening the door. Inside the classroom was a group of around 25 students, all looking up at who'd entered the room.

"Hey, Ms. Type." Danni greeted, walking over to the desk. "This stuff for Casey?"

"Yes, it's for her." Ms. Type looked over to Casey. "Are you she?"

"Yeah."

"Well, nice to meet you, Casey."

"Nice to meet you, too." Danni handed Casey the books, then led her out of the classroom.

"Yeah, nice teacher. Where to next?"

"The gym."

"Oh! Yay!" Danni squealed. "This is boys gym class."

"It's not mixed?" Casey questioned.

"No, boys are _way_ to rough around here."

"Oh…" Casey was starting to have her doubts about moving to New York.


	4. The Way I Feel

When they entered the gym, Casey was relieved by the familiar sound of screeching sneakers and bouncing balls. At least this much was the same.

"Coach!" Danni shouted above the noise, drawing immediate attention to the two girls.

"Yeah, London?" Coach yelled back, calling Danni by her last name.

"This is McDonald." Danni pointed to Casey. "She needs her uniform." Casey could feel the boys' eyes upon her, despite the sounds she'd been familiar with continuing. As they walked toward Coach, Danni continued. "Coach does things on a last name basis."

"Oh." Coach, or Mr. McGuffey, was a tall, skinny man who seemed to carry himself as though he were fifty pounds heavier.

"Follow me into my office," Coach commanded. His office was about the size of an office cubical, filled with soccer jerseys and plaques.

"Soccer's a big sport here," Danni whispered to Casey. She nodded, taking in the sight. There was something on the wall that caught her eye.

"McDonald, right?" Coach asked, searching through his piles.

"Yeah," Casey replied, standing nervously. McGuffey pulled out two skirts two shirts, and a small tie attached to it.

"That should do it." Casey nodded without even taking a look at the size of the uniform.

"Thanks, Coach." Danni intervened, grabbing Casey by the arm and pulling her motionless body out of the office. "Are you claustrophobic or something, because I could've sworn that you were hyperventilating."

"I'm fine," Casey insisted. "Just a little nervous about being in a new school. Does this school have a football team?" Danni's head jerked at the random question.

"No…" Danni's mind in intense thought. "Oh! You saw the plaque! Coach's son was a football player at the public school he went to." Casey nodded, trying not to think too deeply into the subject. "Why?"

"Oh. We had football back home."

"Max," Casey thought, feeling queasy.

"So you like football?" Danni asked.

"Not really."

"Oh. Well, I guess that's good. Like I said, soccer's the main sport around here. But we also have field hockey, lacrosse, tennis, which I play, volleyball-"

"Volleyball?" Danni nodded. "That sounds fun."

"Suit yourself. Too much diving for my liking." Casey smiled, trying to avoid the feeling in her stomach threatening to take over. "So when do you start?"

"Monday."

"So you have the next three days to do whatever you want." Casey nodded. "Have any plans?"

"Well, my dad wants to catch up. I haven't really spent much time with him since the divorce."

"Well, most parents who send their kids here don't spend a lot of time with their kids." Danni commented.

"Do they think that because they pay so much money to send us here, it keeps them off the hook when it comes to communication?" Casey questioned. Danni laughed, taking a path that Casey hadn't seen before.

"Something like that." Danni agreed.

"Well, see you Monday." Danni said, leaving Casey at the office.

"Uh…Do we have any classes together?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, we do. Just check your schedule."

"You've seen it?"

"You're the one who handed it to me!" Danni shouted, her voice fading as she walked down the hallway. Casey took her schedule into her hand, finding two of her four classes for the semester starred.

"This is gonna be an interesting year," Casey told herself, hoping that by interesting, she meant good.


	5. Wreck Of The Day

When Casey finally got back to the apartment, she plopped down onto the couch, trying to focus her attention on something other than the computer. She knew that she'd eventually have to open the email, she was just avoiding it for as long as she possibly could. Deciding to do something productive, she took her clothes to the closet in her bedroom. To her surprise, there was a colorfully wrapped box sitting on the self. After hanging up her uniforms, Casey took the box off the shelf and placed it on the bed.

"Maybe it's for someone else," she thought, knowing it wasn't true. There was a nametag on the gift that clearly stated "Casey." She began to pace around the room, every few moments glancing out her bedroom door for someone who wasn't coming.

"Alright, Casey," she convinced herself. "Either open the present, or open the email." Both seemed extremely terrifying, but she decided to choose the lesser of two evils. She picked up the present and began carefully unwrapping it. She knew who it was from. Her father, trying to patch things up. He hadn't done anything extremely wrong, it had just seemed that since Casey had moved, he kept an undeterminable amount of distance between himself and her. Now that she was living with him, he was trying to glue the ties back together.

Inside the box was a picture frame was a younger version of Casey sitting on the sidewalk with her father's arms wrapped around her as she ate an ice cream cone. Their faces lit with smiles that the camera could only begin to capture. Casey nodded her head, thinking that she should've known he'd pull some sentimental crap.

"Well, one evil in my life at the moment down," Casey thought to herself, putting the picture on her nightstand. "One more to go." As she walked toward her laptop she began having second thoughts. "But let's take it one day at a time." She made her way out into the living room, taking a seat upon the coach. "Dad sure has made a living for himself." Suddenly, the phone rang. Unsure of what to do, Casey sat there stunned, as the phone continued to ring. When the answering machine picked it up, Casey was surprised to hear a female voice on the other end.

"Hey, Casey, it's Mom here!" Casey rushed to the phone.

"Mom?"

"Casey! How are you? How do you like New York?" Casey let out a deep sigh.

"I'm alright. I've only been in the apartment and my new school."

"Did you like it?"

"It's…different." Casey could see her mother freaking out.

"Different good or different bad?" Nora asked nervously.

"Different fine," Casey commented, taking a look around the kitchen. She hadn't been hungry earlier, but now she desperately wanted something to munch on before dinner.

"I mean, if you don't like your new school, just say the word and I'll fly you back home. Ok?"

"Mom, I'm fine." Casey insisted, taking an apple and looking for a knife.

"Casey, I'm just so worried about you. Especially when your dad's always at work. I'm just not sure you'll have enough social interaction." Finding a knife, Casey began cutting the apple.

"So how's everyone at home?" Casey asked, changing the subject.

"Everyone's alright. Derek's a little…" Nora took a breath, choosing her words carefully. "Worse for wears, but he'll pull through. You know, Casey, he really-"

"How's Lizzie?" No matter what Casey did, she could never seem to avoid Derek.

"She's good…" A door opened on Nora's side of the phone. "Oh! She's home now! Lizzie! Lizzie, Casey's on the phone!" Casey heard an excited squeal on the other end.

"Casey?" a familiar voice questioned.

"Hey, Lizzie, it's me."

"Oh my gosh! It's _so_ good to talk to you! How's New York?" Casey couldn't find the right words to describe her experience.

"Uh…New Yorkyish?"

"New Yorkyish?" Lizzie asked, entirely confused. Another voice on Lizzie's end entered.

"Is that Casey?" the voice said. Casey knew the voice immediately.

"Look, Lizzie, I've gotta go. I'll email you soon! Bye!" She hung up without waiting for a response from her sister.


	6. Left With Alibis And Lying Eyes

Moments later, Mr. McDonald entered the room to find Casey sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Hey, Hun." He greeted happily. "How are you?"

"Fine," she replied carelessly. "How was work?"

"Good," Mr. McDonald couldn't really find any better word than that. "Did you go by the school?"

"Yeah," He became a little frustrated that Casey wouldn't go into detail. She _always_ went into detail.

"What could've changed?" he wondered. Then he remembered the reason why Casey was with him in the first place. Max.

"How'd it go?" he inquired.

"Alright. It seems like a nice school." Casey's dad was thankful for a bit of talking from her, it made things seem more…normal. However, he knew that things would never be normal for Casey again.

Without thinking, Mr. McDonald asked, "So why did he do it?" Casey knew exactly what he was talking about, but was shocked that he brought it up. She'd moved to New York to forget about Max, she thought she could hide from him here.

"Didn't Mom tell you?"

"Not exactly. She just said he was gone and that was that." Casey smirked despite herself. Her mom really did know how to keep her mouth shut.

"We'd gotten into a fight, broken up, he threatened to for three months straight, so I figured he wouldn't do it. So then one day I get a call saying that he had."

"That's it?" Mr. McDonald refused to believe that this could really be all there was to the story.

"Yeah."

"So what was the fight about?" He really wanted to be patient, waiting for Casey's reply, but Nora had told him that Casey and Max had been together for such a long time. It seemed odd that one fight could ruin that.

"Derek." He stared at his daughter for a moment, watching her eyes as they stared at the TV. Unfeeling. "So what are we doing tonight?" She finally turned her face from the screen, her eyes becoming lighter.

"Going out to dinner with some friends of mine," he told her. "Is that alright. I mean, if you want it to be jus the two of us-"

"No, Dad, it's fine." Casey assured him, getting up and walking over to the kitchen.

"We'll probably be leaving in about half an hour so-"

"Alright." Mr. McDonald let out a sigh. Raising a kid would be harder than he'd expected. "Do you need a shower?"

"Are we going somewhere where I'm expected to have one?" she questioned. Mr. McDonald shook his head. "Then I think I'm alright."

"Well, I definitely need a shower," he remarked, making his way towards the bathroom. "Be ready to go in 30 minutes."

"Alright," Casey replied, a tint of annoyance within her voice. Soon her father faded behind the door and Casey was left in the silence once again.

"Why would Dad randomly start asking about Max?" she asked herself, beginning to pace the room. "It's not like he was there through the whole ordeal." Ordeal. That's the word Casey chose to use with Max's suicide. Ordeal. It really hadn't simply been what Casey offered up to her father. How could it be so simple? What guy in his right mind would go three months without so much as a cut and then suddenly kill himself?

The email began calling to Casey again. She didn't want to think about it, but her father had aroused the subject within her.

"It's all because of stupid Derek," Casey muttered, making her way towards her room. Opening her closet, she looked for something more decent to wear. Her clothes had the smell of airports, having decided not to change before heading out into New York, and she was ready for something less "I'm new to the city, please help me." After a good twenty minutes she finally decided that jeans and a hoodie was best. Then she was confined to sitting on her bed for the next ten minutes, her laptop beckoning her.

"No," she persuaded herself, going into the living room. "I'm not ready yet."


	7. To Whom It May Concern

The ride over to the restaurant had been the most awkward Casey had ever had with her dad. Neither said anything other than how their day had been. Mr. McDonald had spent his time behind a desk, Casey spent hers looking at her new school.

"Well," he said as they pulled into the parking lot of the cheap-looking restaurant. "This is it. Now, I wanna remind you to be nice."

"Nice?" I questioned. "Dad, what do you think I'm gonna do? Bite this guy's head off?"

"Not his…" her father replied as they entered to find a man and a teenage boy, obviously his son, standing with him. The man was around 6 foot, well built to Casey's assumption that he was her father's age, with slightly silver hair that only made him look mature. His son, like himself, was well built, with a little bit shaggy brown hair and piercing dark green eyes. There was no mistaking it, he was hot. Casey felt her stomach lurch immediately, thinking of Max.

"Alright, Casey, just politely excuse yourself to the bathroom," she told herself as they walked up to the two. Her father and the man shook hands, as Casey and the guy smiled slightly at each other.

"Casey, you remember Aaron, right?" Casey's eyes widened, as did Aaron's. Obviously the two remembered each other, each with a different account, but hadn't suspected the other could possibly be the person who their fathers were claiming.

"Aaron?" Casey asked, trying to keep her polite composer. Aaron, however, didn't bother pretending to be polite.

"Casey?" he asked sarcastically, as though my father were joking him. Aaron had always been that way, at least, to Casey. He was the Derek of her childhood. A waitress quickly led them to a booth. After taking their seats, Casey and the two not so strangers were reacquainted.

"Remember Doug, Casey?" her father asked. Casey nodded, a slight smile.

"Nice to see you again," she greeted effortlessly, she'd been doing it since before she and Max had even broken up, it came naturally.

"And of course, there's Aaron," her father said again. Casey no longer felt the need to go to the bathroom, Aaron had lost all of his appeal the moment his name was revealed.

"How do you like New York, Casey?" Doug asked, trying to start conversation.

"It's nice." Again, another term that seemed to fly from her tongue.

"So what are you doing here?" Aaron asked bluntly. He always knew when Casey was up to something, even after years later.

"I just thought it'd be a good experience to try a new school." she assured him, hoping that he didn't know she was lying, he'd always been able to when they were younger.

"In the middle of your Junior year?" Aaron wasn't letting Casey get away with her bland answers, he could see her lies spilling out as though they were completely obvious. But they were apparently only obvious to him, as he watched his father take her answers without question.

"It just happened to work out that way," Casey insisted. He wasn't buying it, and she could tell, but she was able to let out a sigh of relief when her father entered into the mix.

"So, Aaron, how's your school year going?" he asked, actually sounding interested.

"Alright. You know, the private school's not my favorite thing, but what're ya gonna do?" Aaron shrugged his shoulders while saying this. Casey couldn't help but remember all the times they'd shared when they were younger. Their mothers were friends, which meant that they were forced to play together while their mothers talk. Usually, the two become best friends, and later get married, but not these two. They were complete opposites. Aaron always loved bending the rules, while Casey loved to follow them.

"No matter where I go, I'll have a Derek, won't I?" Casey asked herself in self pity, remembering a specific memory when they were twelve.

Aaron had come to her window that night, no it's not a romantic thing, he'd done that every night when he had something to say (including saying "I hate you!"), so the romantic part of it wore off.

"Casey!" he called in a whisper. She'd opened her window, clearly annoyed. It was one in the morning, and Aaron had managed to wake her up. He smirked as her face came into view, enjoying her spite. "Casey, come on! Let's go to the park!"

"No!" she snapped back, remembering to keep her voice down. "It's one! I'm not going out this late, and it's too cold."

"Technically early," he replied playfully. "And you've got a jacket up there, don't you?" Casey shook her head.

"We'll get in so much trouble if we get caught."

"_If_ we get caught," he reminded her. "And with me, we won't." Casey stood there in her window frame, looking down upon Aaron, his green eyes visible in the darkness, beckoning her down.

"Fine," she finally agreed. "But I'm staying no more than half an hour." Aaron laughed quietly.

"Alright, that's fine with me." he replied, knowing that she'd stay as long as he'd ask her to. He thought that things would always be that way but, of course, he was wrong.


	8. Never Again

"So how's life been, Casey?" Aaron asked, a hint of bitterness in his voice. Casey caught it, but chose to ignore it. She hadn't come to New York to catch up with old friends.

"Um…alright," she replied, not wanting to completely lie. Alright didn't mean good or bad, although bad would've been the more honest of the two choices.

"You lived with…how many kids in one house?" he inquired. She knew that this was his technique. This was how he always got her to tell him what was bothering her, but this time she wouldn't give in. She hadn't talked to him in years, and she wasn't about to suddenly become buddy-buddy with him again. He was the one who'd ditched her, it wasn't up to her to mend the friendship. If he wanted to make amends, his interrogation wasn't the way.

"Four, besides me." Aaron nodded his head, as though taking in the information.

"And one of them is our age, right?" he questioned.

"Technically a year older. He was held back," she informed him. Her father and Doug were in their own conversation, obviously not suspecting that Aaron was trying to dig into Casey's subconscious.

"Anything hot happen there?" Casey's eyes widened. Aaron knew he'd struck a nerve.

"No," she stated quickly. "He's my stepbrother, and he's just like _you_." Casey shot him a look only to find Aaron smirking back at her.

"Sounds like a guy I'd be friends with," Casey nodded.

"Yeah, you two would be tight. You could form a "Make Casey's Life Miserable" fan club. Co-presidents even." Her sarcasm was thick in the air, but Aaron barely took notice of it. He had her right where he wanted her.

"Come on, Casey, you know that I made your life _way_ more miserable." Casey knew what he wanted. He wanted her to remember what had happened that night he'd taken her to the park. He wanted her eyes to widen. Her fists to clench. For her to walk away in order to cool down. But she didn't think to that moment. In fact, her mind didn't wander to that moment, nor all the moments she'd had with Derek. It came to Max. She kept her gaze strictly on the table. Aaron thought he'd finally won.

"So easy to break," he thought to himself, but when she looked up, he immediately saw her cold eyes. Emotionless. Numb. Not the Casey he'd grown up with. Aaron was shocked, unable to speak. Luckily, he didn't have to, Casey's dad entered the conversation.

"Casey, do you know what you're ordering?" Her eyes suddenly returned to the normal Casey look, but Aaron couldn't shake the eyes that had just been staring at him.

The rest of dinner went by as uneventfully as any dinner could. The talk was cheap, and emotionless. Casey didn't make eye contact with Aaron again, and Aaron didn't say a word to her. She didn't want to rekindle the friendship they'd once had, and expected the same from him. His uncivil behavior towards her said it all. He thought she hadn't changed, but she had. And she didn't have to prove it to him.

"So what did you think?" her father asked as they drove home.

"About what?" She knew what he'd say next.

"Doug and Aaron. I know that you and Aaron had a little falling out a few years ago, but…" Casey let out a deep sigh.

"It was fine, Dad," she assured him, trying to seem as sincere as possible, but knowing that it didn't sound as it should.

"Well, maybe you'll get to know each other better at school." he suggested.

"Yeah. Maybe." She honestly didn't want to see him at school. Or anywhere. She had no wish to see someone like him. Like Derek. Thinking that they could take advantage of whomever they pleased, and they'd be willing. Her time with Derek had taught her to stand up for herself. And if need be, she'd do the same with Aaron. She wasn't going to be pushed around ever again. She wasn't going to watch her heart break **ever **again.


	9. The Haunting

Casey and her father hadn't been home for more than an hour when her mother called to check in on her. Luckily for Casey, she happened to be in the shower, but it didn't keep her from the message her mother left.

"Casey," her dad called, hearing the bathroom door open. "Your mom called."

"And?" Casey wasn't so much irritated as confused. Her mother had called earlier, what could've made her call again?

"She said that there's an email that you're supposed to open or something." he explained. Casey hung her head, drying her hair with the towel.

"As if tonight's dinner wasn't bad enough," she thought to herself. She hadn't expected to see Aaron ever again. She didn't want to see him. Obviously Aaron hadn't told anyone about what had happened those years ago, but it still pained her to think about it. So, like every pain in her life, she hid it away, deciding not to think of it. "One problem at a time." She finally gave in, walking over to her laptop and signing on to her email account. There were no messages from Emily, her mom, or Lizzie; just the one that she'd refused to open. It seemed like she'd been fighting opening it forever, but now she had to. If she didn't, she knew her mother would continue to pressure her dad until _he_ opened the email for himself. "Here goes." She clicked on the email and was brought to another page filled with blurring words. Her vision was becoming fuzzy, but she forced herself to focus and began.

**Dear Casey,**

**I know that many things have changed. You've decided that it'd best suit you to move in with your father in New York. I understand wanting to forget, but you honestly don't have the right to. My husband and I have to live every day remembering our son. Just driving by the high school brings me to tears. It just seems unfair.**

Tears began rolling down Casey's cheeks.

**So, seeing as you were the last love interest of my son, I think it's necessary that we keep contact, no matter how difficult it might be for me. Us. Despite the fact that I greatly dislike you, and what you did to my son, I have no choice but to communicate with you because you hold some of the last memories of my son when he was happy. Please, send me a small tidbit of what he was like around you. Anything. A few months from now, the football team is going to have a memorial. They'd like you to be there. I would like you to be there. Your name was the first on his goodbye letter, you know. Have you read it? But please, do send word back soon.**

**Sincerely,**

**Mrs. McFarland**

Casey immediately hit the reply button, wiping tears from her eyes. She hadn't read the letter. The McFarland's wouldn't let her. Now, suddenly, they decided that it was necessary to communicate to keep their son's memory alive? Casey had wondered about that letter from the moment she knew it existed. Despite feeling between herself and her ex's mother, she knew she had to read his goodbye note. She sent an email back saying that she would like to read the letter, and would consider returning for the ceremony. Minutes later, she had a new email to read.

**Dear Casey,**

**Thank you for your reply. I'm glad that we'll be able to share our stories of Max. As for the letter, it's below.**

Everyone,

I know that all of you will have questions about why I'm doing this. Especially you, Casey. I mean, I told you for three months that I'd do it, and you figured I wouldn't. Well, I guess I've proven you wrong, right? I just want you to know that I still love you, Casey, I always will. It's just that after that whole thing with Derek, I just couldn't stand being around you knowing that he…Anyway, just know that I love you, ok? I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think that it was what was best for you.

Mom, Dad, please don't be upset. You know that I love you both. But really, you knew that I would've never gone anywhere in life. It's just saving you money that would've been spent on a useless kid. I love you guys so much, don't ever forget that.


	10. Enjoy The Silence

Seeing as it's New Years Eve (and some readers are impatient--lanter), and I haven't given you a Christmas present, I figure that this chapter will be it for you. Enjoy!

Max's letter contained a few more goodbyes to friends on the football team, but one line struck Casey. If she hadn't been crying before, now she was in hysterics. It was a wonder that her father didn't hear. Or perhaps he had, and chose to believe that it was just homesickness.

And, Derek, I'll see you in hell.

Casey let out a deep sigh, bringing her sleeve to her eyes. She reminded herself that she shouldn't cry, it only made her that much weaker against the world. It was almost eleven, a time when most people were sleeping, but Casey couldn't. She got up and went into the living room, finding it empty. Silent. The silence scared her. Something she couldn't escape. She picked up the phone, carried it into her room., and hid herself under the covers. After dialing the numbers, her tense body eased as the ringing filled the silence. Suddenly, the ringing stopped, and Casey knew the person on the other line had picked up.

"Casey?" The voice on the other end was sleepy. Obviously being woken up by the call.

"Hi," she replied sheepishly.

"Why are you calling?" they questioned in a non-threatening way. As though they were worried about her.

"Derek, have you read Max's goodbye letter?" she asked softly, as though once the words left her mouth, Derek would start to shout.

"No," he replied calmly as ever. As though she'd asked her how his day was. But Casey knew him, inside his stomach was lurching. "What did it say?"

"He said he'd see you in hell," Casey informed him. She could just pictured him biting his bottom lip, trying to keep it from quivering.

"I guess I deserve that," he responded. Casey didn't comment, content listening to him breathing on the other side of the phone. "So why'd you call me?" Casey felt her heart beat faster, trying to think of an excuse.

"I needed sound," she explained. "And you like to talk." Derek could sense the fear in Casey's voice despite her efforts to hide it. Every since Max's death, she'd been afraid of silence. As though silence were the memorial to Max. Whenever sound wasn't present in her midst, he was.

"Your dad not a talker?" he questioned. He hoped it would make Casey scoff or laugh, any response really, but she didn't. Her voice remained unemotional.

"He's asleep."

"And you figured that you could wake me?" It was difficult for him to talk to Casey when she was like this. Afraid. He understood why she was, after reading a goodbye letter from the guy she'd once been in love with, probably reading a lot about how much he loved her. It just wasn't who he'd lived with. In the silence, Casey broke down. Became weak, and timid.

"I thought you'd be awake. But I can go now if you'd like." Her voice indicated that she didn't want to hang up the phone though.

"No, it's alright." he insisted. "I'm up now. I'll stay on the phone with you for as long as you like." Casey could tell that Derek was sincere. She was thankful, letting herself ease slowly into a comfortable sleeping position, but still clutching the phone to her ear, desperate to make sure that Derek hadn't left her.

"Derek, is there anything you're afraid of?" she asked. She knew that he was thinking of the perfect response to give her. Trying to sound manly while sensitive at the same time.

"Losing you," he admitted, expecting her to go into full "Derek, don't start this" mode, but it didn't come. Casey simply breathed evenly, intent upon his words. "I love you, Casey."

Derek stayed on the phone with Casey just listening to her breathing. He'd managed to keep the silence from eating her up that night, only hanging up once he was certain that Casey was asleep. He wasn't sure if she'd heard him proclaim his love for her, but he knew that the phone call was a step in the right direction. She was talking with him again. She _needed_ him again.


	11. Serial Sleepers

"Casey, I know I promised that we'd spend some time together today, but they called in and said that they really need me so-"

"Go ahead, Dad," Casey assured him, shooing him towards the door. "I'll be fine." She was getting used to the idea of being alone a lot. As long as she had something to fill the silence, she was fine. Besides, she hadn't wanted her dad to notice how unsocial able Casey was. Once he'd left, the house fell silent. Eager to create sound, Casey took a shower. Upon exiting the bathroom, she let out a scream. On her couch sat Aaron, watching TV like he lived in the apartment.

"What are you doing here?" Casey shouted, clinging to the only thing covering her body, a towel. Aaron took little notice of her figure, as though he'd seen it all before.

"Watching TV, what does it look like?" His sarcasm was heavy, waiting to pick a fight with her. Casey made her way to her room only to stop dead at her need words.

"Doesn't this remind you of something?" Her body tensed.

"No," she replied calmly, a chilling sound coming from her mouth. "No, it doesn't." She was about to go into her room when Aaron continued.

"Oh, come on, Casey. I've got better fish in the sea, and I don't even have to force them." Casey immediately slammed the door in retaliation. "It's not like I really did force her," he muttered to himself, turning his attention back to the TV.

Within her room, Casey was shaking, trying to force herself to block it out, but she couldn't. Aaron had opened up the wounds and now she had to watch the blood flow.

That night, when they'd went to the park, they'd sat on the grass gazing at the stars. The typical thing that would seem so romantic if it hadn't been Aaron and Casey. They teased back and forth, occasionally Casey slapped him. It was as it usually was. They were friends who were constantly on each others nerves.

"Casey," he'd said. "We're almost thirteen now and-"

"Oh! I know!" Casey interrupted, as was her style. "Can you believe that we're gonna be teenagers?" Aaron shook his head at her childish reply.

"Yeah, but there are some things we're gonna need to know when we get there." Aaron played Casey like a fiddle. She took the bate.

"What kind of things?" she asked innocently. He took her hand in his, gently stroking the top of it with his thumb. Casey noticed it, but Aaron could tell that she didn't mind. She didn't pull away.

"You're gonna need to know what I look like under clothes, and I'm gonna need to know what you look like. It's part of becoming a teenager." She nodded her head in understanding.

"But I don't think my mom would agree," she protested. Aaron put his mouth to her ear.

"Your mom and mine don't know about this stuff because they're old. It's just part of the secret new teen code." Casey was unsure of herself, but wanted to be accepted. Aaron had always told her what she needed to do to achieve that. If she didn't have Aaron, all she had was Lizzie and her friend, Amy. But even Amy could get a little annoying. Aaron was the one she trusted, the one she didn't think would ever turn on her.

"Ok," Casey agreed. Aaron had his lead in, removing her shirt, finding her bra.

As he went to remove it, Casey flinched. "Wait." He stopped her hand where it was. On the hook, about to undo it. "I can't do this."

"Casey, your half is almost done. I promise." Aaron was persuasive, and as he said these words, he unhooked it. It fell on her lap as she let out a gasp, reaching her hands to cover up her breasts. He took her hands in his, and moved them towards him. For a moment his eyes didn't leave her chest. Casey was uncomfortable, wriggling herself away. His hands wouldn't loosen.

"Let go!" she shouted, trying to pull away, but instead, he moved closer. To Casey's distress, he was on top of her, pressing his lips against hers. She pushed him, but his body couldn't budge. "Get off, please!" Her begging only made him more attracted to her. Like a beast preying on those weaker than it. He moved his lips farther down, from her throat until he reached the bridge between her breasts. Fear and natural instinct took over Casey and she was able to push him off, kneeing him in the groin. She quickly put on her shirt, stuffing her bra in her jacket, and began running. Aaron didn't follow after her. That night, she'd snuck back into the house, tears streaming down her face. After that night, Aaron refused to speak to her. "You should've let me," he stated, as though it justified itself.


	12. Endless Day

Once Casey had regained her composure, and put on clothes, she made her way out into the living room. Aaron was still watching TV.

"How did you get in here?" she inquired, taking her seat on an arm of the couch. He held up a key.

"I've had one since your dad moved in," he explained. Casey nodded.

"So why are you here?" She was blunt, not wanting to put up with any crap Aaron might have to give her.

"My dad wants me to show you around the city. Or, at least, keep you company while your dad's at work."

"Well, I'm good," Casey assured him. "I don't need your company."

"Well, I'm sort of stuck here."

"Stuck?" He turned to look at her, wondering what that painful look in her eye had been.

"Not really stuck, but I'm not leaving until I understand you."

"What do you mean by that?" Fear built up in Casey, fearing that he'd do what he'd done that night. She made her way to the kitchen, searching for the knife drawer. She wouldn't let it happen again. He followed her in.

"Why you came here. What that look in your eye was." Casey continued searching. "What are you looking for?" Having found it, Casey shut the drawer quickly. She'd use it if she needed to.

"Nothing. So you want to know why I came?" He nodded. "I told you."

"Casey, you know I didn't buy that bull crap. Now, either your mom sent you here because you got hot and heavy with your stepbrother, or you've got something really bad on your plate." Casey walked back into the living room. Open space, a door if she needed to run.

"Maybe I'm just not who you remember," she suggested. Aaron scoffed.

"Casey, I haven't changed a bit, which means that you couldn't have either." he insisted, backing her into the couch, forcing her to sit. He started to place himself on top of her.

"Get off!" she shouted, pushing him away, making a break for the door. He didn't follow.

"That was too easy," he thought to himself as he made his way towards Casey's room. Casey, meanwhile, was running as quickly as she could. She felt that her guts would explode. However, when she looked back, Aaron wasn't coming after her. She understood. It was a setup. A way to get her out of the house so he could snoop. She jogged her way back to the house to find Aaron on her laptop.

"Get off my computer!" she shouted, a knife in hand. Terror struck Aaron as he saw Casey trembling before him.

"Casey, don't-"

"I told you to stay out of my business. Now get out!" she screamed. Aaron quickly made his way to the living room, followed by Casey and the knife.

"Casey, I know you're upset-"

"Upset doesn't even begin to cover it!" He sat on the couch, raising his hands in surrender. "How could you! I told you not to!"

"Casey, it wasn't your fault!" he shouted back. Casey's eyes widened, her body trembled uncontrollably. Aaron got up quickly, getting to Casey just as she was about to fall. Tears streamed down her face as she dropped the knife. "It's not your fault," he whispered gently into her ear. "It's not your fault." Almost everything was out in the open for Aaron. He understood why Casey's eyes were filled with sadness, but even as he watched Casey cry, he had to wonder, "What did Derek do?"

Aaron gently walked Casey to the couch, setting her down, making himself a headrest for her. She continued to sob, but more quietly now, every so often shaking.

"It's gonna be alright, Casey," he assured her, kissing the top of her head. "It's gonna be alright."


	13. Stay

Once Casey had managed to stop crying, she cleaned up while Aaron put the knife away.

"You sure you feel alright walking around?" he asked her for the fifth time. She nodded, tired of being coddled. "Alright, where do you wanna start?" She gave him a confused glance.

"You're the one giving the tour, aren't you supposed to have a schedule?" He shook his head.

"I told you, Casey, I haven't changed a bit." He smirked to himself like he'd said something that had offended her. She nodded her head.

"Well, if that's the case, I'm just gonna hang out here." she informed him, making her way towards her room.

"And what about me?" Aaron inquired, taking a few steps to show her that he was following. Casey tensed, remembering that night.

"What _about_ you?" she questioned sarcastically, coldly. She made it obvious to him that she had no wish to speak with him, much less hang out with him. He seemed to be unaffected by her tone of voice.

"What do you want me to do?" Casey turned to face him, making him stop abruptly.

"Go home." His composure broke for a moment, as though he'd thought that she was going to invite him into her room instead of the reply she'd given.

"Go home?" he repeated, the words seeming foreign on his tongue. They stood there standing in the hallway for a moment, just staring at each other.

"Yeah, you heard me," Casey stated. "Go home. You got what you came here for, now go." Aaron shook his head, a smirk reappearing across his face. He could see Casey's face becoming frustrated. She'd be snapping at him soon.

"And what did I come here for, Casey?" he asked seductively, taking a step towards her. She took a step back, placing herself in her bedroom doorframe.

"To find out why I came to New York," She was saying it more for her own self assurance more than she believe it. "And you know now, so leave." He shook his head again, taking another step towards her. She took another step backward.

"No, Casey, I came here for you." Her eyes widened. As soon as he saw her reaction, he burst out laughing. "Come on, Casey, that was years ago. Let it go, geez." Casey didn't look amused. "Besides, I told you, I've got other fish in the sea who actually _want_ to be with me." Casey put her hands upon his chest and began pushing him out of her room.

"Good, then go bother them." she suggested, forcing Aaron back into the living room.

"Well, I would," he assured her. "But I've still got questions that need answering." He took a seat on the couch, patting the cushion next to him. Casey reluctantly took a seat. "That, and the girl I'm involved with right now is busy."

"Involved with? Is that what you call it?" Casey questioned. Aaron let out a sigh as though it were trouble to explain it.

"Involved with. Like you like the person, but you're not dating them. You're not solely attached to them. Sort of gives you the right to play the field if you want to, but there's one girl who's a little bit more special." Casey nodded in understanding.

"So pretty much, you're a dog who can't take commitment." Casey stated. "I feel really bad for the girl who's "involved" with you." She said it sarcastically, but Casey really meant it. She did feel bad for any girl who cared about Aaron. He'd break her heart, and convince her to let down her guard for his five minutes of pleasure. Well, more than that now, she supposed.

"Pretty much," he agreed. "A bit more of a dog now, though." Casey scoffed.

"You've been a dog since me," she informed him.

"Well, you were my first dog experience. I'll give you that." he admitted, playfully tapping her toes with his.

"I don't want it." she insisted, pulling herself farther away. "I'm not a dog person." She then got up, making her way towards the kitchen.

"Obviously," Aaron replied sarcastically, going to the kitchen to look for something to eat.


	14. Let Go

While making something to eat, Casey began to wonder how Aaron could ever be in her life again. After all she'd done to convince herself that it was his fault, here he was again, acting as though she'd broken their friendship.

"So how are your dad and mine such good friends?" she asked, making sure that she was a foot away from Aaron at all times, although it was difficult considering that he was a physical person.

"After my mom and dad divorced, our dads suddenly had a lot in common," Aaron explained. Casey turned towards him in shock.

"Your parents go divorced?" she questioned. "When?" She seemed genuinely concerned about this matter, which surprised Aaron. He didn't think that Casey had cared so much about his family.

"Just a few months after you moved," he explained. He watched her face fall, again taken aback at how much Casey really had changed. _He'd_ changed her, taken away her innocence. Of course, Aaron wasn't thinking of himself, more of Max, the boy who'd torn Casey's heart out.

"Any particular reason?" Casey inquired. For some reason, this struck a cord in Aaron, a cord that he'd promised himself he would touch.

"Does anyone have any particular reason for doing things?" he snapped. "What about the guy who killed himself?" Once the words had left his mouth, he regretted it completely. He watched Casey shrivel away where she stood, the glaze coming to cover her eyes. "Casey, I-"

"It was because of me," she stated blandly, as though the words were said without feeling.

"Casey, I told you it's not your fault," Aaron insisted, trying to bring his Casey back. His Casey? Now he was becoming possessive of her again, just like he'd been when they were younger. Casey didn't respond to this. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? I just…I'm not exactly over the divorce, you know?" She nodded her head, still keeping her eyes to the ground. "Truth is, the whole divorce was over a stupid baby." Casey looked up at him.

"_Baby_?" He could almost hear Casey saying it, but she didn't. She didn't have to, her eyes said it all.

"Mom figured that in just a few years, I'd be off to college, and she wanted another baby. You know, being a stay-at-home-mom with no kid to wait for sort of defeats the purpose. So anyway, Mom wanted to have another, but Dad thought that I was plenty, and one college bill would set them back enough." Even though telling Casey this information wasn't exactly making him feel better, at least Casey was still looking at him.

"So it was all over that?" she questioned, her voice wavering. He smiled slightly, happy that she'd said something.

"Yep." Aaron let out a sigh. "Figures, though. Mom had nothing else she could do with her life but have kids, and she happened to be married to a man that said one is enough."

"Do you…Do you ever see her?" Casey asked hesitantly. By now, they'd make their way out to the living room with their food, sitting on opposite ends of the couch.

"Every once in a while." Aaron could feel the silence growing between them, and noticed Casey tensing up. "So what about you and your dad?" Casey's head shot up from her plate at the mention of her father. "How often did you see each other when you lived with the…" He'd already forgotten her mother's new last name.

"Venturis," she finished. "Only once or twice. You know, things were…hard for him." He watched Casey's eyes go back to her plate. "He was busy and couldn't get away. Work's always been really demanding for him, but he came out when he could."

"Casey, you don't need to convince me," Aaron assured her. "I know your dad loves you." He said this simply to make Casey feel a little bit better. It was obvious that she was trying to protect her perfect image of her father despite the fact that he hadn't, not couldn't have, been there for her. However, his attempts ended in Casey feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Geez, Case, you blush so easily." He was right, Casey's cheeks were bright pink, becoming redder when she'd found out that he noticed it. "Makes you miss the old times, right?" Her eyes turned cold to him. He knew she was thinking of that night, but he surprised her when she replied differently.

"Yeah," she stated, eyes on her barely eaten food. "Yeah, it does." However, Aaron didn't know that Casey had thought to that moment, she'd always think to that moment. But, today, she thought that maybe she'd be able to forget, maybe even forgive, what he'd done. He seemed to actually care about her, but she refused to let herself trust him, he'd done wrong, and he could never redeem himself.


	15. Everything You Ever Wanted

The rest of the weekend had gone by before Casey could even blink, and before she knew it, she was going to her first day of school.

"Casey!" a voice from down the hall called. Casey turned to find Danni pushing her way towards her. "Hey, what's up?"

"Um…Lost." Casey knew that she should've known her way to her first class, but she's already found herself immersed in the crowd of students, unable to read signs. Danni grabbed Casey's wrist and began dragging her in the opposite direction.

"You'll get used to it," Danni assured Casey, even though Casey wasn't sure that she'd ever be used to such craziness. "Do you mind if we stop somewhere?" Without waiting for a reply, Danni pulled Casey down a sub hallway towards two guys with their backs towards them, two girls in front of them. Casey gave Danni a questioning glance, but Danni simply shrugged. "Didn't I tell you not to flirt with other girls where I can find you?" Danni's voice was sarcastic, yet serious at the same time. She had the guy closest to her within her grasp, his ear between her pointer finger and thumb.

"I give. I give," he surrendered, putting his hands up half-heartedly. Casey couldn't even believe this was happening, it seemed so much like a Derek and Kendra thing.

"Casey, meet Jack and his friend, Aaron." Casey turned her eyes towards the other guy to find the one and only.

"Aaron?" she questioned, surprised despite herself. They'd spent the weekend together, and she'd honestly thought that he was different, but he was still a dog. Born a dog, die a dog.

"Hey, Casey," he replied sheepishly, suddenly ashamed of his conduct.

"You two know each other?" Danni asked curiously.

"We go back," Aaron informed her.

"Too far back," Casey commented, leaving the group without another word. She didn't care if she got lost. She just couldn't believe…She let a sigh of frustration. She thought that he was different. _Different,_ different. Obviously not.

"Casey!" Danni shouted, reaching for Casey's wrist. Once she finally got hold of it, she pulled Casey to a stop. "Casey, what's wrong?"

"I just…" Casey couldn't think of a good excuse. "I need to get to class now." Danni saw right through her.

"Look, if it's Aaron, it's fine. A lot of girls in this school have the same reaction. He's not exactly what we'd call Grade A meat. Not like Jack is either but…" Danni left the rest for Casey to figure out, knowing that she would. "So you wanna go to first period?" Casey nodded thankfully, glad that the topic was away from Aaron. As Danni led her down the hallways, Casey could feel people looking at her. She was new, she'd expected it. When they entered the classroom, Ms. Type greeted the girls with a warm smile.

"So where do I sit?" Casey asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention to herself. She should've known better, she drew attention anyway. It was someone unfamiliar, someone they'd never met. Of course the whole student body would be watching her. Ms. Type pointed to a seat near the back corner. When Casey put her stuff down, she noticed a guy in the desk next to hers.

He was strikingly attractive, despite being what some people would consider a "nerd." His slightly shaggy blond hair fell just above his glasses, with his eyes intent upon a book. He hadn't even glanced up when Casey had taken her seat. She was certain that he would've said hello to her had she greeted him; but for some reason, she couldn't get herself to do it. He looked so at ease when reading the book, as though in a different world where nothing could touch him. She wanted that. That glazed over look like nothing in the world could pull the two apart. And, although she didn't want to admit to it, she wanted it because it would keep Max's memory farther from her. Aaron was saying that she should confront it, head on. Tell someone everything. But that's the last thing she wanted. Derek knew everything, and it wasn't helping her. It made things worse. Casey assured herself that she'd get the courage to say something to him by the end of the period, but knew that she wouldn't. She just continue to watch his eyes, waiting for a day when magically hers would become the same way. Glazed and unfeeling.


	16. I'm Not Missing You

When the bell rang, the boy's head shot up toward the front of the room, where Ms. Type was taking her spot in front of the class.

"Everyone, we have a new student," Ms. Type informed them. "Meet Casey. Hopefully you'll all make her feel welcome here." Ms. Type then turned to the board, beginning to write down the lesson plan. The boy's eyes turned to Casey, who was turning beat red, feeling everyone staring at her. His eyes were just one pair of the many. He tapped her lightly on the shoulder to see her jump. She'd obviously been thinking of something else.

"Sorry," she exclaimed, realizing what a freak she sounded like.

"It's ok," he assured her, his blue eyes sincere. "Um…I'm Henry."

"I'm Casey," she introduced. Her eyes widened. "Oh shoot! You already knew that. I'm sorry." She knew that he was trying to contain a laugh.

"You really do say sorry _way_ too much," Henry informed her, still smiling. "You're new. It's fine."

"So what are you reading?" Casey inquired, trying to see the cover.

"T.S. Eliot," Henry replied. "Ever heard of him?"

"I've read The Wasteland."

"Not his best work, but it's pretty good." Henry seemed to like Eliot work _a lot_, at least, Casey thought so.

"And what do you think his best work is?" she questioned, trying to keep the conversation going. He was the first person who'd attempted to speak to her besides Danni, she needed to keep him on her list of "people to talk to when you don't know anyone."

"Ash Wednesday." Casey made a mental note to read the work. Henry had turned himself to face forward, and Casey suddenly realized that class was going on. Ms. Type had been speaking about something.

"Casey, have you ever read Ivanhoe?" Ms. Type asked. Casey immediately remember reading the play, then expecting Max to be a prince charming. She nodded slightly in response, trying to get the memory of Max out of her head. Her vision became blurry as she remembered Max trying to be chivalrous after the incident. He'd made her laugh hysterically from making such a big deal out of opening the door for her. "What did you think?"

"It makes you wish your life was really like that," Casey managed to mumble out, keeping her eyes on her desk.

"_Figures_," she thought. "No matter where I go, Max has to be there."

"Casey, are you ok?" Henry whispered, leaning on her desk. Their faces were so close, Casey observed, it seemed so natural. She nodded, not wanting Henry to know what Aaron did. She'd moved to New York to get away from people who knew what happened. Aaron finding out was a mishap, she wouldn't let anyone else know.

After class ended, Casey tried to pretend like she wasn't rushing out, but she was. Henry wasn't far behind.

"Casey are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Why?" She couldn't look him in the eye. She'd always been a crappy liar.

"I saw that you almost cried, I'm not _that _dumb."

"Ivanhoe's just really moving," Casey insisted, not believing it herself.

"Casey, you're a crappy liar." Henry took her by the hand, pulling her towards the library.

"What about next period?" she asked, worried that she'd get in trouble on the first day of school.

"I'll get you a pass. Don't worry." He led her to one of the back tables, making her sit down in one of the seats. "Ok, so tell me what's wrong." He took off his glasses, putting them in their case. Being even more attractive, Casey found it hard to lie to him.

"Nothing, Henry. Really." She knew she sounded fake. She didn't believe any of it. Henry let out a deep sigh.

"Alright, so where are you from?" he asked. Casey let out a sigh of relief. Something she didn't have to lie about.

"Canada."

"Why'd you move here?"

"My parents are divorced and it's my dad's turn." Henry nodded as though he understood something.

"Homesick?" Casey nodded, wanting him to believe whatever he wanted to. "Meet me here after school on Friday, alright? I have something I think you should see."

"Alright." Finally a smile spread across her face.


	17. Safety In The Dark

Casey had been waiting for Henry's surprise all week, avoiding Aaron, and Danni. Since Danni was always with Jack, and Jack with Aaron, they'd had to talk after school. So, on this Friday, Casey found herself in the library alone as Henry approached her.

"Been waiting long?" he questioned sarcastically. Casey was taken aback for a moment. In class he'd seemed so different. So shy and quiet. He wasn't like that though. Casey could tell from the look in his eyes. He had a devil inside.

"No," Casey answered honestly, not really knowing what to say. It was obvious he'd just come from gym. His hair was wet, a few pieces sticking to his forehead like he'd just taken a quick shower. She found him…hot.

"Come with me," he commanded her, taking her hand and tugging her along. For some reason, she didn't mind someone telling her what to do. Had it been Derek, Aaron, or even Max, she would've stood up for herself; but Henry seemed to have some power over her. She nodded her head dumbly, following him without the slightest clue where she was going. Suddenly they were at his car. "Call your dad and tell him that you'll be home later."

"My dad's not home until 2 AM anyway," Casey commented. Henry shrugged his shoulders, then pulled out a bandana.

"Gonna need more time than that. Tell him you're sleeping over at a friends for a night or two." Casey complied, calling the voicemail at the house and telling her dad that she would be at Danni's for the next few nights.

"What are you doing?" Casey inquired as Henry tied the bandana around her eyes, keeping her from seeing. He moved her into the passenger seat of his car, buckling her seat belt.

"Making sure you don't fly out the window." Casey laughed slightly. Her door shut and the driver side door opened and closed. "Let's go have fun." The car was soon moving and Casey could feel time passing by. Henry was silent for a while, but began to talk. "What type of music do you like?"

"Stuff you can dance to," Casey commented blandly.

"Well, you can't really dance in here, so we'll go with something else. Plus, I hate rap," Henry countered.

"Not rap," Casey defended. "But boppy."

"Boppy?" Casey smirked at the sound of his voice. She couldn't help but adore that about him.

"Fun, not down in the dumps," she explained. Henry turned on the radio, turning the dial like mad.

"Wait!" Casey screamed as one song came on. "Stop! I love this song!"

"_This_ song?" Henry questioned, sounding disgusted. "It's so…boppy. So happy-go-lucky."

"And what's wrong with that?" Casey asked. "There's nothing wrong with being happy."

"There is when you're forcing it…" He seemed hesitant to say this.

"And you think the singer is forcing it?" Casey inquired.

"Maybe not the singer…but the girls who love it. It seems so desperate. If the guy wants to kiss her, he will. Or, better yet, if the girl wants it _that _badly, she should kiss him."

"All the girl really wants is that perfect moment, you know?" Henry chuckled a bit.

"Is there really any such thing as the perfect moment?"

"Yes," Casey replied defensively, thinking of her moments with Sam and Max. "There is."

"What made it perfect?"

"All conflicts were resolved and there was just a moment to enjoy for what it was worth," Casey explained.

"You make it sound like a happy ending in a book," Henry scoffed.

"And why shouldn't life be like that?"

"Because life isn't perfect. There is no perfect moment where all of the problems. Or maybe it seems like there is, but the problems come back, right?" Casey nodded, considering all that he'd said.

"I think all anybody wants is a bit of perfection," Casey stated. Henry nodded, then looked over to her to realize that she was blindfolded.

"Yeah," he stuttered, somewhat laughing. He could hear the anguish in her voice when she talked about these things, and was desperate to bring back the happy-go-lucky Casey. "Fine, we can listen to the stupid song." He meant to sound like he hated it, but he could see Casey smiling and automatically didn't regret it.


	18. Maps

A few hours later, Henry had stopped the car, and was on his way to her side of the car. He opened the door, unbuckled her seatbelt, and helped Casey out of the car.

"Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them," he commanded, untying the bandana. Casey could feel that the bandana was off, but kept her eyes closed as Henry has told her to. She could hear something, a powerful sound, but couldn't quite identify it. "Ok," he whispered gently. "Open your eyes."

When Casey's eyes opened, she let out a deep gasp. Before her was Niagara Falls just as the water was about to plummet to the bottom. She turned to Henry, completely awestruck, with a goofy grin slapped upon her face.

"It's beautiful," she whispered to him. He smiled back at her then turned his gaze back towards the falls.

"I just thought that I might want to give you a little piece of home," Henry commented. "Granted, this isn't exactly Canada, but it's close enough. You can see it from here." Casey laughed softly.

"This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me…But I have to be honest with you."

"I don't like where this is going…" Henry looked at her quizzically, but Casey just took his hand and led him to the bench. As they sat down, Casey let out a deep sigh.

"I didn't almost cry because I missed home," Casey admitted. "It's because it reminded me of someone…An ex boyfriend."

"Oh crap!" Henry exclaimed, smacking himself in the forehead. "You're not over your ex and here I am taking you to the falls-"

"No," Casey interrupted. "It's nothing like that. His name was Max. We went out for…a long time, and then we broke up…And then three months later he killed himself and then I moved to New York to get away from it, but he only seems to continue haunting me." Henry didn't speak for a moment, just stared at the ground.

"Oh," he managed to spit out. "He must've really loved you." Casey nodded.

"He did," she stated. "He really did."

"Then what made the two of you break up?" Casey thought about lying to Henry for a moment, but realized but he was the first person who she actually wanted to know the truth.

"My stepbrother." Henry looked up at her for a moment, questions racing through his head. "He's just a year older. Derek…" Henry took her hand reassuringly. "Derek told me that he loved me. I told Max, and Max was furious that I couldn't tell my mom that my stepbrother was seeing me in that way. All Derek did was make it worse. Every chance he got, he'd put his arm around me or peck me on the cheek claiming that it was "brotherly." One time he went as far as to actually kiss me. It drove Max to his wits end, because there was nothing he could do about it. There was nothing that I would do about it."

"Why didn't you tell your mom?" Henry questioned. Casey shook her head.

"Because Derek is just like Aaron," Casey stated. "He'll do whatever he wants to people."

"Aaron from our school?" She nodded. "What did Aaron do to you? I know he's a womanizer but-"

"It was a long time ago," Casey insisted. "Derek's a now problem."

"But you're here now," Henry comforted. "And Derek can't get you here. All you have to worry about is getting over Max."

"How do you getting over someone killing themselves because of you?" Casey questioned, she'd been wondering that from the very beginning.

"You don't," Henry answered. "There are some things that you're never supposed to get over."

"I wish that this wasn't one of them." Henry wrapped his arm around Casey, letting her head rest against his shoulder as she tried not to cry.


	19. Life

About half an hour later, Casey was back to her usual self, and continued to admire the falls with Henry's arm wrapped loosely around her shoulders. She rested her head against his shoulder as she watched the water plunge from the cliff to the ground.

"I wonder what it would be like to fall from here," Casey commented. Henry was taken aback. The thought sounded so…suicidal. So unlike Casey.

"Come on, Casey, you don't want to die like that," Henry insisted, cupping her cheek within his hand, forcing her to look at him. "Too many people would miss you."

"Would you be one of them?" Casey questioned. For a moment they just stared at each other, then Henry's face moved closer. Casey didn't pull away, too much anticipation, too much numb from the talk about Max. When Henry was about to kiss her, her stomach lurched. She turned her face from him and began running to towards the grass.

"Casey!" he called after her, already running. As she fell to her knees on the grass, he continued. "Look, Casey, I'm sorry. I know it's soon, and you're not over Max-" He stopped speaking as he watched Casey's eyes glaze over. She was gasping for breath. All Henry could do was watch her heaving. Finally, Casey just threw up. Soon, color returned to Casey's face and she tried to smile at him. "Are you alright?" She simply nodded. "We need to get you home." She shook her head defiantly.

"I'll be alright," she persisted. "It was just…too much thinking for me."

"I shouldn't have done that," he countered.

"It was my fault, I knew that this would happen." Henry looked at Casey worriedly for a moment.

"Did Max ever…hit you?" Henry inquired. Casey glared at him.

"Don't you _**ever**_ say that."

"Did Derek?" Casey burst into tears immediately. "He did, didn't he?" Casey shook her head.

"He didn't know that killing himself would do this to me. I can't even think of kissing a guy before my stomach…well, does this." Henry nodded his head with understanding.

"Casey, are you afraid to like someone?" Casey looked at me for a moment.

"No," she replied. "No, I'm not."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"What about me? I know that you like me, Casey. You would've turned away a lot earlier if you didn't." Casey refused to look Henry in the eye.

"I…I'm not sure."

"Casey, you know you're sure. You know that you like me."

"I don't-" Suddenly, his lips were upon hers, and she couldn't pull away. Didn't pull away. His hands were gently holding her face, she could feel the warmth flowing through her.

"Casey, don't tell me that you're not sure." She smiled gently and shook her head. "I'm not going to let Max's memory keep me from having you." To anyone else, this would've sounded like a possessive comment, but it was just what Casey needed. Someone who wouldn't leave her or betray her for anything. When she smiled, he kissed her again. And who says that the guy with the glasses never gets the girl?

A while later, Casey questioned. "Did you bring me up here just so that you could do that?"

"Not quite. Somewhat," he admitted. "I knew that you were feelings homesick, and I hoped that I'd get a kiss for being outrageously nice. I would've never thought that you had such a crummy past."

"Let's not talk about that," Casey suggested, putting her hand in his.

"Alright," he agreed. "But if you ever feel like talking…"

"You'll be the first person I come to," she assured him, kissing his cheek gently.


	20. Cry

Hours later, Casey entered her apartment to find Aaron laying on the couch. He looked up at her with a look of anger and concern.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

"Out." Aaron got up and began pacing around the room, keeping his eyes locked on Casey.

"Where exactly is out?"

"Out." He slammed his hands down on the couch back.

"That's not good enough! I need to know where you were, if you were safe, if anyone did anything-"

"Like what you did to me," Casey commented, making her way to the kitchen. "Well, let me enlighten you. I was away from home, I was safe, and no one did what you've done to me. In fact, I think I'm less happy being home with you." She was irritated, having to come home to Aaron after a perfectly good date with Henry. Aaron came into the kitchen only a few steps behind her.

"Who were you with?"

"Not anyone you'd associate with."

"Aha! So you weren't with Danni!" Casey let out a sigh.

"And you sure as heck weren't with Jack tonight if that's what you want me to tell your dad." Aaron's jaw dropped.

"You wouldn't."

"What? Wouldn't tell him that you were out raping some girl? Oh, you bet I would."

"But you wouldn't tell them that you were raped?"

"What good would it do?" Casey inquired, taking out the knife. Aaron took a few more steps back. She smirked, taking a head of lettuce out of the fridge. "What's done is done, not like they can arrest you upon my word. _However_, they probably have enough cases stacked up against you to send you to jail for life."

"You were the only one I…"

"Raped."

"The other girls did it willingly." Casey smirked. "They wanted it, honestly. You seemed to be the only girl who I couldn't get." Aaron knew that this would be the perfect time to make a move, had Casey not been holding a knife.

"And you'll never get me," Casey assured her, slamming the knife into the cutting board. "Not you." Another slam. "Not Derek." Slam. "Not Max!" She slammed the knife down so hard that there was a large indent into the wood.

"What?" Aaron asked, unsure of what Casey meant.

"I'm not going to let Max run my life anymore. I'm tired of it. I've cried for _way_ too long about it. I'm done."

"Better not check your email then." Casey's eyes widened.

"She-She didn't, did she?" She dropped the knife.

"What, Max's mother? I don't know, it could've been-"

"Shut up!" Casey shouted. "This is not one of your stupid schemes! This is my flippin' life! If you want to rip someone apart, don't make it me!" Aaron looked at the tears rolling down her face and couldn't help himself. He made his way to Casey, held her in his arms, then licked the tears away (Ew, right?).

Casey shoved him away, madly shouted. "Never again! I will not fall for you ever again!" She dashed into her room, slamming and locking the door.

Within her room the email seemed to call out to her. She tried to drown it out with music, screaming, anything; but nothing worked. She could feel Max's mother calling out to her. Finally, Casey gave in and opened the email.

**Casey,**

**It's been a while since we've talked, so I thought that I'd ask if you would come to the football dinner that's going to be happening around Christmas time. Since I suppose you're coming home for Christmas, I thought that it'd be nice if you'd come on Max's behalf.**

**-Pam**


	21. Blisters&Coffee

Christmas was only a week away and Casey was a nervous wreck. She'd told Max's mother that she would come to the dinner, but regretted it immediately afterwards. Aaron was still on her couch watching TV when she came out from responding to the email.

"Casey, I'm sorry," he stated. "And you're right not to want to be with me. I've been a jerk, and you deserve better."

"And I have better." Aaron stood up.

"What?"

"I have a guy now." Aaron began pacing.

"Who?"

"Henry," she admitted, smiling to herself. Aaron's face because grave.

"Casey, please tell me it's not him," Aaron begged. "Anyone but him."

"Just because you don't like him-"

"No, it's that he's just like me." Casey shook her head, completely frustrated with Aaron.

"Shut up! My gosh!" she shouted. "You will do _anything_ to get what you want-"

"Casey-"

"Did you really think that I'd believe your lie?"

"I'm not lying! You'd think you'd be able to trust me by now!" Casey scoffed.

"Trust _you_? Definitely not likely! After all the crap you've done."

"You said you'd let that go-"

"It's not even about that! It's that I thought that I had feelings for you, only to find out what a player you were!"

"I told you I hadn't changed, Casey," he stated quietly.

"Obviously."

"If you'd told me that you liked me, I would've put you at number one immediately."

"I don't want to have any numbers _but_ me. I want a guy who wants _only _me. You obviously can't commit to just me."

"And you think Henry will do that? He's probably on a date right now. The whole "book and glasses" thing? An act. He _knew_ that you were coming. I told him that you were."

"Dang it, Aaron! Do you have to ruin everything that doesn't end the way you want it to?" Casey questioned.

"Casey, please don't do this!" Aaron begged. Casey picked up the phone, then stormed into her room. She immediately called Henry, explaining what Aaron had accused him of.

"Of course I'm not seeing someone else," Henry assured her. At this, Casey let out a thankful sigh.

"It's just that after all I've told you, it would really suck to find out that you were dating someone else too," Casey explained. Henry didn't reply. "What?"

"It's just that…" Henry began. "Just that all you've told me is really heavy stuff, and I'm not sure I want to ruin our friendship with a relationship."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Casey screamed. "You're the one who kissed me, even after I puked, you kissed me!"

"I know, but-"

"Don't even try to make any excuses!" There was a knock at Casey's door. "Go away!" She kicked the door for emphasis. "You did it! It's your fault! I'm not being blamed for something I couldn't control **EVER** again!" After saying this, she hung up with a forcefulness like never before. When she opened her bedroom door, Aaron was there, with open arms. She cast aside his embrace, and make her way to the kitchen.

"What do you want, Casey?" Aaron asked.

"I just want to go home."

Next Chapter will be the last!!!! Yes, Derek will appear next chapter-.-


	22. Breathe Again

Casey found herself standing before Edwin, Lizzie, George, Nora, Marti, and Derek. She held her breath, as they did their own. Her family was wondering if she was better, she was wondering if they would question anything that happened while she was away. Most of all, however, she was worried about seeing Derek. She didn't even look him in the eye when she first noticed his presence. Her heart began to speed up as she thought of her last few days at home.

Aaron had taken her leaving with a newfound maturity. He honestly wanted nothing more from Casey but that she be happy. She's been screwed over by so many guys in her life, including him, but he had honest feelings towards her. She was still slightly mad over the Henry situation, but had allowed Aaron to tell Henry off when he'd tried to call her. Henry sent a message to Casey that Aaron dared not repeat. A message stating that his blood was on her hands. However, when Casey forced the words out of Aaron, she couldn't help but smile. Henry might be upset for a day or two, but he'd get over it. No one's love for her could surpass Max's. Each guy she'd encounter would love her, but not enough to die if they couldn't be with her. Max's love was forever and no one could replace it. Not Henry. Not Aaron. Not Derek.

When Casey was situated back in her room, she realized that nothing had really changed. Her room still felt like it had when she'd left it some time ago.

"Casey?" she turned to find Derek, coming into her room and closing the door. "We need to talk." Casey nodded, taking a seat, already knowing what he had to say. Except, Derek seemed to talk about everything _but_ what he had to say. "Did you have fun in New York?"

"Yeah."

"Meet any nice people?"

"Some." Derek shook his head in frustration.

"Nothing's changed, Casey," he informed her. "We're still in the same place we were when you left. I still love you, and you still think that we shouldn't be together."

"Because we shouldn't, Derek," she shot back, now looking into his eyes.

"Why do you keep saying that?" Derek snapped, agitated that Casey hadn't changed with distance.

"Because Max is cold in his grave because of it," she replied, hoping that Derek's stomach would churn at the thought.

"But-But when you called, I thought-"

"I was afraid, and silence was overtaking me," she argued. "But I'm ready now. I'm ready for silence. I don't need you to be my sound."

"So you're finally ok with Max's death?" Derek questioned. Casey smirked slightly, thinking deeply about it.

"No, I'm ok with Max's life." Derek looked confused. "I understand that what you did to him was something that he couldn't get past, whether I loved him or not."

"So his hatred of me was stronger than his love for you?"

"No, his love for me was stronger. But I wasn't there to support him, I wasn't strong. I just wanted to pretend like things were ok and that we didn't have to worry about you. And, in that sense, his death was my fault."

"Casey, don't say that-"

"I'm responsible, just like you are. This is our secret. My blessing and curse from Max so that I'll always remember him. Why would I want to forget the man I was- am- in love with?" With that, Derek left the room, not understand how Casey had come to the conclusion that she was no longer going to tear up every time that Max's name was spoken. Casey, pushing their conversation aside, decided to get ready for the dinner where she'd confront her demons.

_Max knew more about love than most of us could hope to know in a lifetime. I don't mean to sound corny, which I know that I probably do, but it's true. He was filled with compassion and admiration for each and every person who entered into his life. His team was like his family, people that he was constantly talking about--whether it was an appropriate time or not. Each and every one of you can remember something from your times with Max where he said or did something that somehow solidified your bond. It was as though you knew just from those few words that you were brothers--that he really loved you. And he did, he loved each and every one of you. But sometimes love isn't enough to carry us through. Sometimes it's just a determination and drive that forces us to continue onward in our lives. Max had given so much of his determination and drive to each and every one of us, that his own seemed to dwindle; but he didn't give it away in vain. That bit of himself, that moment that he gave to you, might have renewed your determination and your strength. He renewed mine a million times over. So tonight, let's just remember Max for the good guy that he was. The son, boyfriend, brother._

After Christmas was over, Nora and George extended and invitation for Casey to come back. Upon her refusal, the house was in an uproar.

"Do you not want to be with us, Casey?" Marti questioned, not understanding.

"I do, Marti, it's just-"

"Casey, I finally have my first boyfriend and you're not here to help me out," Lizzie added.

"Lizzie, I'm sure you'll-"

"And what about me? Derek doesn't give very good advice on everyday things," Edwin interrupted.

"I-"

"Casey, please don't go," Nora begged. "We need you."

"I'm sorry," Casey stated. "But I'm not staying. I love you guys, but I've come to peace with Max. I need to come to peace with other things that have happened that I can't do here."

"Casey, I don't see why you can't fix your problems here as well as anywhere else," George argued.

"I had time to myself there," Casey informed him. "Time to see myself for who and what I am. Here, I'll always be distracted. I love you all to death, but I'm no use to anybody until I'm finally over _all _off the crap I've been through."

"There's more than just Max?" Edwin questioned, always eager to here dirt about his siblings.

"Lots more."

"Like what?" Nora inquired.

"Maybe some other time, but I really need to do this myself."

"Casey, you can't always be doing things by yourself."

"I need to go back to New York," Casey insisted.

"Then I'm going to." Casey turned to see Derek at the top of the staircase, suitcase packed.

**Review!**


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